If you need help, you have to ask for it.

Yesterday was lunchtime shinny day. Last week, I had had a brainwave and invited my husband to come with me. He's a beginner player, too, but this shinny group is usually pretty gentle with beginners. He'd had a lot of fun and was going to come again today. The only missing piece of this puzzle is childcare, of course. 

Last week, my friend (who used to watch the baby for Wednesday shinny when my husband was still working) was able to watch the baby during our hockey "date". I had arranged with her for this week as well but she called me at the last minute to say her daughter had been puking all night. I didn't want to risk bringing more disease into our house - my daughter already brings plenty home from preschool - so I thanked her for letting me know and resigned myself to going to shinny alone. Unless I could come up with someone else at the last minute. We live across the country from grandparents, aunts, and uncles, who would normally be the ones called upon in such a situation. It's frustrating being so far from a family support network, precisely for these kinds of last-minute, short-term childcare situations.

Then I had a brainwave. We have a neighbour who seems to be home during the day (based on what I see through our window while washing dishes). She has three grown kids and a granddaughter, so she's a baby expert, and we know her fairly well. But I always feel like it's asking so much to get someone to watch the baby for a while. Especially at short notice. Even though we are so often desperate for a break, even a short one.

But what the heck, if I didn't ask, then I would be going alone, and it was kind of fun having my husband along last week. So I worked up all my nerve and called her and asked if she was available to just hang out with the baby for an hour and a half while we went to hockey. And she was indeed available, and was happy to do it. Yay! So that worked out fine in the end. 

Not only that, I now know that I have another option for short-notice childcare. You need to have some people you know you can call on, especially if it came to a real crisis. When you have live this far from family you have to build up your network of friends and neighbours to help out with all kinds of things that you might use your family for - borrowing mitre saws, moving furniture, feeding the cat while you're out of town, babysitting... I have lots of friends who have said "If you need anything, give me a call," and I warn them repeatedly that they should be careful what they offer, since I might take them up on it! 

Still, your friends aren't going to know exactly what you need, because they aren't mind readers. So if there's something specific, don't lament the fact that there's no one to help you. If you need help, you have to ask for it.

Appendix: How was shinny, you ask? My husband did well for the few minutes he was on the ice - then he twisted his back and decided to call it a day. I scored a goal - woo hoo! - a one-timer in which the goalie went down, and the puck skittered high, arcing right over him into the net. (I score way more goals in shinny than on my team because I play forward in shinny, and defence on my real team.) The weirdest part was that Mr. Red Dog showed up today. It's almost as if by writing about him last week, I summoned him from wherever he was hiding. Mr. Slapshot wasn't there, though, implying that with the 10% rule there is also some kind of conservation law that follows as a corollary. Still, I didn't let it bother me. Oh yeah, I will do a post-mortem on my stick tonight but I'm pretty sure it's just being held together by the tape. Gotta get a new stick before playoffs!