Hockey at bedtime

Our hockey league has negotiated really great early evening ice times for many of our games, at a brand-new four-pad arena. However, we are still stuck with some less-desirable ice times, including the 9:00 pm Saturday night slot at Gray Arena. There is something really awful about having to psych yourself up to play so close to bedtime (for me, bedtime is around 10:00 these days). Then you get home really wired and have trouble falling asleep. I am also starting to wonder if we end up with more injuries during the late-evening games, because people just don't seem to be paying as much attention.

Anyway. Last Saturday was our last regular season game, at 9:00 pm. I tried to get myself pumped, going into the game, but I just wasn't all there. I think it's the cumulative effect of the sleep deprivation caused by my dear son, who is not quite six months old. He sleeps very well, for a baby (10-hour stretches are normal for him), but he still has me up around 3:30 every night. And of course, I haven't slept well in over a year, because the sleep deprivation started when I was pregnant. I didn't want to have an extra coffee before the game because I'd already had three on Saturday (my self-imposed daily limit).

I couldn't get my mind into the game on Saturday. After every shift, I would just plop down onto the bench to catch my breath. I didn't even have the energy to stand and watch. Even though I was discouraged, I did work on stopping my negative cycle of thinking, which usually goes something like: "Oh, I'm so tired - I can't do this - I just made a stupid mistake - Soooo tired - I feel like an idiot - When will this be over? - What time is it? - Oh man, it's only the second period! - SO TIRED!" There's something about having admitted in a blog post that I am working on positive thinking - I felt obliged to try and stay positive, tired or not!

So this time I tried my best to focus on specific positive things that were going on in the game. In spite of a few boneheaded moves (some of which were accidental) I still managed to get the puck in a bunch of close races. I was able to beat people to the puck, even their fast players. I stayed focused in the corners and fought for the puck and annoyed the hell out of their forwards. Kept their sticks off the ice in front of our net, gently easing them away from the danger zone right in front. All that was very satisfying, even thinking about it now. I also had one good rush, so I'm making progress in the "carry it up yourself" category.

But the most important thing was that when I was on the bench, starting to spiral into the negative thinking, I kept reminding myself of all the specific things I had done right since the start of the game. I tried to just ignore the things I had done wrong, unless I could remind myself in a brief, positive way not to do them again. Positive thinking is very out-of-character for me, so it took effort. But I think it kept my game from deteriorating further, and it was an interesting exercise in self-control and "mind over matter".

The final score was 3-3, by the way. We were leading until the very end, but the other team scored with 1:04 to go... the puck was under the goalie and the refs should've stopped the play, but then it got loose and went in. (I'm pretty sure it was their best player, who's like 60-something years old, who was involved in that goal too. Good on her - she's skilled and tough and plays hard, but fair.) Oh well, whatcha gonna do? It's always hard playing hockey at bedtime.