The 10% rule

Anyone who knows me in real life has heard me expound on "The 10% rule", which goes like this: in any demographic, 10% of the people are Not-Very-Nice [the actual word that I use starts with a and ends with holes]. Really, the 10% rule applies anywhere - coworkers, men, women, drivers, politicians, neighbours - and even to groups of people whom, ideally, would all be nice - children, people who do volunteer work, religious types... The trick to keeping yourself sane is to just accept this fact and not take it personally. Also, if you sigh with relief that one of the 10% that you normally interact with has finally left/been fired/quit, don't worry, another one will come to fill their place. Just roll with it! And keep in mind that the other 90% of people are pretty nice.

Every year that I've played shinny there has been at least one puck hog. Of course, I never know their names or much else about them, because I change in a different dressing room. Therefore the small talk is limited to what takes place on the ice, which with men, is very little. So I make up names for the other players in my head to keep track of who's who. Here is a gallery of the puck hogs I've played with over the years.

The first year, it was Mr. Zamboni. He used to bring his pal as well. Total puck hogs, they would carry the puck themselves end-to-end, or only pass to each other. They were so disliked by the rest of the shinny group that the other guys started refusing to pass to them (another example of behaviour and reward, or in this case, punishment). So if you had them on your side there were basically two teams, Mr. Zamboni and his friend, and the rest of the guys. It does rather make it difficult to break out of your own zone, when you are essentially short two players.

Also that year, and the following year, was Mr. Red Dog. He was another one who was likely to take the puck end-to-end himself and not pass to anyone. It got to the point where everyone else on the same team would just start coasting when he got the puck. No point in trying to get into position for a pass because he would never pass anyway. He brought the fun factor way down. Then one day, I was talking to another player, who agreed that this guy was a jerk, and said he always wore a black jersey when Mr. Red Dog was there, so as not to have to play on the same team. Ha! I had never thought of that! So I switched colours for the rest of that season and never had to play with him again. In fact, I got great pleasure out of occasionally taking the puck away from him. Fun! He never came back this year, though, and I wasn't sorry to see him go.

This year it's Mr. Slapshot. He loves to take the puck end-to-end as well, though he passes a bit more than the other two did. But his signature move is taking slapshots from the point. Most of the time they're wild, too. He was on my team last Wednesday and the puck came back to him at the point while I was down low in the slot. We all knew - on both teams - that he was going to take a slapshot because that's all he ever does. I should have probably stayed where I was to try and tip it in or screen the goalie, but I don't like getting hurt, so instead I backed away and the puck went zinging past my head. Maybe not a great offensive strategy but a safe one! Mr. Slapshot is also equally aggressive whether he's up against a beginner or a skilled player, which is contrary the spirit of shinny. Most of the guys give the beginners a bit of space, a chance to figure out what to do with the puck, gradually tightening up their defence as their skills improve. Not Mr. Slapshot, though - a moment's hesitation and he'll take the puck from you, beginner or not. Nice!

But that's the way it works. No matter the demographic there's always someone who's Not-Very-Nice - the 10% rule!